Fatherless Women

Today a woman was reunited with her father after twenty plus years of disconnection. A couple of days ago an absent father shows up in the same city of his estranged daughter for a second time. Not too long ago a young girl spoke with her father who she hadn’t spoken to since she was thirteen years old; she is twenty-four now.

The aforementioned is the reality for so many little girls who later become women. Women who were abandoned by their fathers and then were left to fill a half emtpy glass alone.

Optimally, a little girl needs to see herself reflected in the love she sees for herself in her father's eyes. This is how she develops self confidence and self esteem. This is how she develops a healthy familiarity with what a positive expression of love feels like. This is how she develops an appreciation for her own looks, her own body. This is how she develops what Jungians would call her 'animus,' her counter-sexual self; her masculine self, which will help her be proactive, productive, and creative in the outer world as she grows into adulthood.

If, however, the little girl does not have such a relationship with the father, if she sees rejection or emotional coldness or withdrawal in him, or if he simply is not available at all, her sense of self will be tainted, her self confidence warped or non-existent, her portrait of a loving relationship may be distorted or dysfunctional, and she may find herself - no matter how pretty, vivacious, lovable, funny, or intelligent - lacking in appeal.

Taking Relationship Advice from Friends

Aren’t we all guilty of such behavior? We easily get in the middle of our friend’s affairs. We conceal our judgment by uttering, ‘well you asked me or you shouldn’t have mentioned it’, but do we always want the advice? Not really, we just want the catharsis of sharing and its relatively therapeutic vibe. It seems difficult to emotionally mature in the eyes of your friends when you share too much about your personal life. It’s as if we as people are programmed to remind you of all your flaws and speak pessimistic about you, your decisions and your overall desires for a particular relationship.

Can friends really provide sound advice about relationships? Parts of me believe the surest way to remain single or mess up your relationship is to take advice from friends. Your friends are saturated with their own bias, which can result in very toxic advice. Therefore, I think part of being a good friend is being a good listener and cheerleader and not the dreadful judge or as my mother always says, “Sista Doom.”

New Artist Mentionable

Her name is Jazmine Sullivan. She makes me reminiscent of Lauryn Hill. What do you think? And just in case you forgot about Ms. Hill.



I am throwing this one in because it is one of all time favorites...


Enjoy!

Fashion Police: Flint Cracks Down on Sagging

Some people call it a fad. But for the city of Flint, Mich., that urban style known as 'sagging' is now a criminal offense.

It's 90 degrees in downtown Flint, Mich., and Jayson Miguel is shirtless, in a pair of gray sweatpants. He's hanging out, minding his own business—and breaking the law. It's not that he's loitering (he's on his way to meet a friend). It's his pants: they're hanging off his hips, below his butt to reveal a pair of gray boxer shorts. "I've been sagging since the fourth grade," the 28-year-old says. "I'll be sagging when I'm old and gray."

Young people call this unkempt look a fashion choice. But for David Dicks, Flint's new police chief, it's a national nuisance. Dicks has ordered his officers to start arresting "saggers," as some aficionados of this sartorial style call themselves, on sight, threatening them with jail time and hefty fines for a fad he calls "immoral self expression." He later told a local paper the style could give officers probable cause to search saggers.

Livia asks, "does this awful expression of fashion warrant an arrest or is it just another shameless tactic to justify incarcerating more Black men?

Images in Art

Did You Know This about Your Yoni?

The Skene’s gland is embedded in the wall of the urethra, and can be indirectly felt through the upper vaginal wall, 2- 3” from the entrance of the vagina.

Using the pads of one or more fingers, it can best be identified as area of ridges. The center of this ridged surface, about the size of a dime to half dollar, is known as the Graffenberg spot or G-spot. In some women this may be more noticeable than others, particularly when in an un-aroused state. During arousal the G-spot (which is made of erectile tissue) fills with blood and swells to 2-3 times it’s normal size. After arousal it is usually more easily identified and stimulated.

Although the ability of the female to ejaculate depends on a number of factors, it must be recognized that it is not for everyone. Just as many men are not receptive to prostate stimulation, many women are not sensitive to, or do not necessarily enjoy G-spot stimulation.

Another Baby Boom Era?

By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY
A record number of babies were born in the USA in 2007, according to early federal data released Wednesday that some demographers say could signal an impending baby "boomlet."
The 4,315,000 births in 2007, reported as "provisional" data by the National Center for Health Statistics, gives just a glimpse of what's ahead in the nursery.

"I can't tell you anything about who's having these babies, but it is an early look and there is an increase," says federal demographer Stephanie Ventura. "It's a milestone."
She says details about the mothers won't be available until the fall, because all the agency has now is birth certificate data from state health departments.

The last time the number was this high was in 1957, in the middle of the baby boom years; about 78 million Americans were born from 1946 to 1964. Demographers have been monitoring gradual increases in recent years; data for 2006, which won't be made final until September, show a 3% increase over 2005. That's the largest single-year increase since 1989.

"I suspect this is the beginning of a new kind of baby boom, although it's going to be nowhere near the baby boom of the 1950s or '60s," says demographer Arthur Nelson of the University of Utah in Salt Lake City. "It will be sort of a boomlet."

She was Feeling It!

"At the start of the event Tuesday morning, City Council President Michael Hancock introduced singer Rene Marie to perform the national anthem. Instead, she performed the song "Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing," which is also known as the "black national anthem."

When she finished, the audience responded with mild applause. The national anthem was never performed. Governor Bill Ritter (D-Colorado) discussed the incident on The Mike Rosen Show on 850 KOA on Wednesday morning, calling it "inappropriate."

Marie told 9NEWS she kept her plans to switch songs quiet until the very last moment. She says only she, her husband and a friend knew she was going to sing something other than the "Star-Spangled Banner." She says she wanted to express her love of her country by mixing the lyrics of "Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing" with the melody of the "Star-Spangled Banner."

When I read this, all I could do was laugh! Yes, that is good ole Marie in the photo!

Badu and Her Baby Dadd-ies!!!

Erykah Badu in the newest cover of Veg News magazine. Also in the realm of Baduizms, Erykah blasts “haters” for criticizing her 3rd pregnancy by yet another dude:

“How dare you disrespect the queendom … and my children and my intelligence. I’ve never been so disgusted in all of my life,” the singer began in her rant.

“I am a great mother and caregiver to my two children, and to this world,” Badu wrote. “My children are two of the kindest and happiest people I have met … I am their doctor and their nurse, and even sometimes their mother and their father. I am an excellent mother and resent all of the negative comments and insults on my character.”

“I put much time and though into having and raising my children. I’ve had the honors of having two home births and two wonderful partners by my side. Every relationship I have been in was because i loved the person dearly and was dedicated to us ‘exclusively’ for a number of years. The fathers of my children are my brothers and friends. We have a great deal of respect for one another and always will. We love out children to no end. We took our own ‘vows’ and continue to uphold them, and that is what that is. Question? What is marriage? Who is the judge? … Would it ‘look better’ to marry and divorce and marry again?”

She did admit that she may lose a few fans, but didn’t care, refusing to bite her tongue. “If I lose you as a fan because I want to continue to have children, then f*** off … who needs you … certainly not me … kick rocks … call Tyrone … pack light … bite me,” Badu wrote.
At the end, she signs off with a big “kiss my placenta.”

Livia: Um...3 kids, 3 fathers, that shit ain't cool on no level, money or not...yes that is a very judgemental statement, but I will own it.

Food Apartheid

"Citing alarming rates of childhood obesity and a poverty of healthful eating choices, a city councilwoman is pushing for a moratorium on new fast-food restaurants in South-Central Los Angeles... The proposed ordinance, which takes a page from boutique communities that turn up their noses at franchises, is supported by nutritionists, frustrated residents and community activists who call restrictive zoning an appropriate response to "food apartheid."

(Jan) Perry quoted research showing that although 16 percent of restaurants in prosperous West L.A. serve fast food, they account for 45 percent in South L.A. Experts see an obvious link to a health department study that found that 29 percent of South-Central children are obese, compared with 23 percent county-wide."

Livia states: Franchise restaurants like McDonalds and KFC are not capable of serving healthy food in any area. I suggest people research the chemical contents of fast food. Iceberg lettuce and processed chicken is hardly healthy. The notion is this…FAST FOOD IS UNHEALTHY wherever it is served. There is a problem when a particular area is inundated with those food options! I see this in Chicago.

Sperm Dononation...Would You?

Today's Oprah show was about the first sperm donor babies all grown up. Although this isn't a new topic, it is fresh amongst my friends and family. I have considered sperm donation, but after watching the Oprah and talking to one of my old friends last night, that is not something I could do or handle emotionally. Would you consider a sperm donor if you were not in a position to procreate the natural way?

How to Milk a Man!

Media Mogul

Radio maven Cathy Hughes was born in Omaha, Nebraska in 1947. Beginning her career in radio in 1969, Hughes' first position was with KOWH, a black radio station in Omaha. Her successes there prompted the Howard University School of Communications to offer her a position as a lecturer and as Assistant to the Dean of Communications. In 1973, Hughes was named general sales manager to WHUR-FM in Washington, D.C, and by 1975 was hired as the general manager of the station. Under her guidance, WHUR-FM, which had been struggling along with $300,000 in annual sales revenues, increased its annual revenues to more than $3.5 million.

Over time, however, the station began turning a profit, largely due to the success of her talk show. Since the early days of being a station owner, Hughes' rise has been remarkable. Today, Radio One owns 65 radio stations throughout every major market in the country, making the company the largest black-owned radio chain in the nation. In January of 2004, Hughes launched TV One, a cable television channel targeted at the African American community.

Spear's Wealth Management Survey, A New Magazine For The Ultra-Rich

Wonder what Roman Abramovich is reading? Like a few other wealthy people, including JK Rowling he might just be curling up with Spear's Wealth Management Survey, a new magazine aimed at the ultra-wealthy. The U.K.-based magazine is sent by invitation-only to those with assets over£5m. According to an article in the Observer, the magazine is sent to a list of about 2,000 people. Spear's Wealth Management focuses on the needs of the superrich including hedge funds, Swiss banks, crisis management, bulletproof cars and above all, staying rich.